![[meome] thumbnail](https://f4.bcbits.com/img/0035225503_42.jpg)
1. |
Fall in Paradise
04:59
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2. |
Goodbye Innocence
05:40
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I am left alone... lost in this pitiful gutter of a world for one more night.
I feel this sickening gloom spread inside my body.
Could it be so hard to leave this life behind for good?
This wound festers inside of me.
It makes me who I am... and it’s not what I want to be.
This warmth that was once in my being, this hopeful light, is now leaving me.
I dig into my weathered skin to find it…
to hold on before it disappears into the vast cruel dark.
It slips through my fingers and dissipates…
My soul now drowns in tears and this emptiness crushes my heart into nothing.
I was always prepared to walk all the way to my shallow grave... alone.
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3. |
Sorrow of Disillusion
03:43
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This cold, dry air feels like nails burning my lungs when I breathe.
There is a horrible stench in the night and the dull humming of power lines
drown out the sorrows of disillusionment.
Wandering in these quiet streets, upon the hill of suburban decadence;
a visual reminder of how putrid this existence can be.
Here only the taunting dreams remain.
Streetlights are the only stars I wish upon,
maybe this is why nothing has come true...
Dreams decay quicker in concrete catacombs.
Stumbling in the shadows I will be drinking alone, like the night before.
And I will gaze upon their beauty and cower in their splendor,
just like the night before...
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4. |
Saturnine Nights
07:08
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Autumn is fading into the cold pall of winter.
A soft breeze carries the trail of brittle leaves through the gutters;
a dull sigh of indifference as the city starts to fall asleep.
Stumbling home with a lingering weight in my chest.
Exhausted by empty distractions, trying to find where I lost my sense of being.
The distant drone of passing cars and neon lights lulls me into a weary somnolence.
I pass by dimly lit windows, glimpsing into rain blurred dreams
but all I see reflected back is the fog of my past failures.
I am becoming too weary for this life.
My soul mired in the gloom of despondency.
An incessant irksome monotony of a life I would rather forget...
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5. |
Concrete Remembrance
05:31
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In an unfamiliar place, sorrow clutches at my throat, but I pay it no mind.
Drinking to numb its grasp, stumbling drunk in a city that was once ours but never my own.
We laughed in those streets.
We wandered carelessly through the cold, dark alleyways and for a moment it felt that entropy had released us from its cruel indifferent burden that laid upon our lives.
It was so quiet and I could see your breath in the cold night air;
the snow embracing you as we walked up those stairs.
So many words, so many blurry faces, my head light for the first time... with nothing.
Lost to this grotesque, decadent veil and through the pall of cigarette smoke I saw the red neon light forcing its way onto your pale skin.
It looked like you were bleeding... and it was so beautiful.
So lost in this blissful dream that I couldn't see our long dark shadows that grew in the streetlights…
I couldn't see that you were never really there…
and that you would leave me in the dust and tears of a past I so miserably cling to...
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6. |
A Lingering Silence
05:18
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Why do I linger in your silence?
I have let the light of living fade with the rotting remains of hope and regret,
and still I am alone in this wasteful life.
Digging through the dust to find what I let wither with neglect.
I am looking for what was once there.
I swear I’ve seen it before, but I have forgotten how time works.
I kept telling myself I have time... I have time... I have time… but now I am lost.
Left behind with handfuls of ash; in the streets of depleted soil and gutters of running waste from fleeting delicate moments of being.
Rain has turned to wine and I desperately drink as if it will nourish my veins,
helping me to forget, to pretend that this silence isn’t yours,
but this intoxicating rain echoes in the hollow remnants of what will never bloom again.
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7. |
This Isn't Living
04:39
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It’s quiet again tonight.
My room reeks of wine; languid from the oppressive summer heat.
Isolating myself from this dirty city, mislaying my vigor in an alcoholic stupor.
This isn't living.
This lightness is all we have and I’ve done nothing but waste each night
in my room with the company of a bottle,
glimpsing into the lives of people I don't even know.
I keep telling myself that there must be more to this life than drinking and loneliness.
I am trying to make whatever life I have left bearable…
but this weight of regret gives way to resignation.
No matter how hard I try it may not be worth it in the end.
It may not be worth it in the end.
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8. |
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I’ve wasted my entire youth numbing myself.
Night after night, I’m losing sight through my tears,
drowning my words in the back of my throat, swallowing every chance of rejection.
And now I sit in this silent home wondering where my life went.
Forgiveness is not going to bring back my wasted youth or failed chances.
I stare out of the window but cannot reach beyond these confining walls.
It’s useless.
I wish on raindrops to wash away my human stain.
I feel further away from those things that I’ve wished for,
I feel further away from what it meant to live.
Why? Why… Why me?
Why...
I don’t know how to make things better, how to break free from this listless anxiety.
I will watch this life move on without me,
and in my absence their lives will still move on... without me…
Ensam i mitt rum får jag skydd från regnets hånande droppar…
När molnen skingras igen, vet jag att mitt väsen försvinner in i dimmornas land...
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9. |
Nenuphar Necropolis
06:59
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It’s been years since I first lost my way in the fog.
It lingers in my mind, condensating into the night; breaking the surface of the tarn.
Dawn is crawling towards me, spreading its deep blue reflection across the water.
A breeze carries a vague scent of blossom and I remember why I’m here…
I’ve been told not to listen to the voices in the water,
but I can never ignore their presence or their promises.
I watch the sky through the liquid mirror; each ripple reflects something that I’ve lost.
The twilight weighs down on me with the collected weight of all my sleepless nights.
The burden of summer sadness leaves longing for the fog in my mind to thicken,
and I remember why I’m here…
With heavy feet I edge further out on the pier, losing my sight in the liquid depth of the sky.
Sinking, I can hear their voices deep within my mind, or is it in the distance?
That shrill laughter, entangled in the weeds…
Further down the dark somehow seems less dense, but draining beyond imagination,
and as my eyes roll back I am welcomed into the Nenuphar Necropolis...
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10. |
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